Now that She's gone
by sconroy36
Summary: Meredith was tired of being a wife to a husband who stopped noticing her. She was tired of going through her everyday routines and crying herself to sleep. She leaves her husband leaving behind a simple note. Will Derek find her?
1. Chapter 1

A/n: okay this story came to me while I was overwhelmed with boredom. This will probably be a short story unless everyone would like more. Read and review and

let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or the character's

**Mindy McCready**

**Maybe he'll notice her now**

_**She wrote I feel just like that painting collecting**_

_**Dust on the wall. And everyday you walk right by me**_

_**You don't know I'm there at all. **_

_**I can't think of one single reason **_

_**why I should be hanging around.**_

Meredith sat down at her kitchen table. She thought back to a time in her life where she was in control. Gone where those days replaced with kids and family obligations. There was no time for herself anymore. There were no relaxing weekends at the beach. No free time for friends. Her life had become ordinary. She tried to think back to the last time her husband noticed her. Really noticed her. She was tired of feeling lost in her own home. Her kids didn't understand her. They were to worried and wrapped up in their own lives to care about their mother. No one noticed that she was slowly coming apart. She was slowly losing herself and she couldn't stop it. She wanted to be noticed.

She stood up from the table and walked upstairs. It was time finally time for her to start living. She couldn't stay here one more day. She didn't know what else to do. She needed Derek to notice her she needed him to notice how much she needed to be loved. To be cared about. She needed someone who would look at her not as a mother or wife but as a woman. She needed someone to tell her that she was special. That she was needed.

She was only 30 years old. When she was fifteen she joked with her friends that 30 was ancient. Now she felt young and ready to spread her wings and fly. She had given her husband plenty of opportunities to notice her but he had ignored her. She pulled her suitcase out from under the bed. She opened her closet door and slowly pulled together her wardrobe. She should be feeling guilty for leaving. Sadly the only thought that was racing through her head was relief. She had fought to stay for to long. If she stayed any longer she would lose herself. She zipped up the suitcase and carried it down the stairs. She sat down beside the front door.

She couldn't leave without telling everyone why. So she walked into her husbands study and sat down at his desk and began writing the letter.

_**My Dearest Derek,**_

_** I love taking care of you and the kids. But somehow along the way you forgot about me. I wonder sometimes if you really want me around. Though I am leaving I hope you miss me. I hope you realize that you still love me. Because I will always love you but I can not keep loving a man who looks right through me, a man who doesn't even see me. Goodbye Derek.**_

_** Meredith.**_

She folded up the letter and placed it on his desk. She let a single tear fall from her eyes. She couldn't change her mind this was for the best. She walked to the front door and picked up her suitcase. She took one final look at the house and then turned and walked out.

_**She signed it I** **hope that you miss me**_

_**Than she drove herself out of town**_

_**Maybe he'll notice her now**_

_**Maybe he'll open his eyes.**_

_**Sometimes it takes somebody leaving**_

_**For a man to realize**_

_**Maybe he'll tell her she's the only thing**_

_**That He can't live without**_

_**Now that she's gone** _

Meredith wiped the tears from her eyes and drove away. "Goodbye my love" she whispered as she started her journey.

_**Maybe he'll notice her now**_


	2. Chapter 2

**The minute Derek walked into his house he knew that something was wrong. **

_When he came home late that evening_

_He called her name down the hall_

**He walked around the house yelling for Meredith. When she didn't answer he walked into his study to call her cell phone. He was about to pick up the phone when he saw the letter. **

_He saw the yellow light on the painting_

_That used to hang there on the wall_

_In its place on the nail was the letter _

_He read it out loud to himself_

**He sat down and began to read the words that she wrote. He couldn't believe that she had left. How could she leave her family behind. How could he have not seen how unhappy she was. Did he notice her anymore?**

_Then the loneliness began_

_To take over and for once _

_He knew just how she felt._

**The question ran through his mind until the anger went surging through his veins. He crumbled up the letter and threw it against the door. "Damn her." he yelled. He picked up the phone and dialed her number. When she didn't answer he slammed the phone down. He stood up and walked up to the bedroom. He looked into the closet and realized that she had taken all of her clothes. He ran his fist into the wall but instantly regretted as the pain pulsed threw his knuckles. He sat down on the bed and cried like a baby. He loved Meredith more than life but he had forgotten to let her know everyday. He should have paid more attention but with the surgeries that he performed everyday he let her slip right threw his fingers. He had to find her and tell her that she was the love of his life. The reason that he woke up every morning. The reason for the smile on his face when he was alone. He always thought about her but never let her know. He walked downstairs to fix dinner for his children. He would bring his wife home and would never let her feel loneliness again.**

_Maybe he'll notice her now_

_Maybe he'll open his eyes_

_Sometime it takes somebody leaving_

_For a man to realize_

_Maybe he'll tell her she's the only thing _

_That he can't live without._

_Now that she's gone maybe he'll notice her now._

**Meredith drove straight through the night. Derek had called several times but she wasn't ready to talk to him. She had to hold out on talking to him. She knew if she talked to him tonight he would beg her to come home. She couldn't go home not until she knew that it was where he wanted her to be. She pulled into the hotel and parked her car. Tomorrow she would go see her old friend and her sister. She knew that George and Lexie would be happy to see her. They had been asking her to come to Florida for several months ever since Lexie became pregnant. There was no time like the present to visit old friends. She unloaded her suitcase from her car and walked into the hotel.**

**Derek finished up dinner and helped his kids get ready for bed. Josh and Stacey asked several times where there mom was. He had told them she went to visit some old friends. He wasn't ready to tell them the truth. The truth could wait for a couple days. He walked into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of scotch and tried to call her once again. When it went straight to voice mail he knew that she had turned her phone off. He stormed out of the kitchen and walked into the living room. He sat down on the couch and cried into his glass. **

**Mark stood outside Derek's house. Derek had called crying. Meredith had left him with no hint as to where she was going. Mark had noticed the couples problems. Probably more than Derek had. They were always the perfect couple. He never thought she would leave Derek. He walked inside the house and found Derek in the living room. Drowning his sorrows in his drink. He sat down next to Derek.**

"**Seriously man you shouldn't be drinking." he took the glass from Derek.**

"**How could she do this? She not only left me she left the kids. The Meredith I fell in love with would have never up and left. What happened to us? Where did it go so wrong. How come she couldn't tell the love that I feel for her. Everything that I have done has been because I have her on my side. I know she gave up a lot for our family. I thought that it was what she wanted. She wanted to be a better mother than what her mom was. It's funny she's just like her mother now walking away." he yelled.**

"**She needs time. She will come back. Don't start putting her down. You need to take the time to put your love back into your marriage." Mark watched the tears fall from Derek's face and felt bad for the guy.**

"**Did you talk to your wife. Did you ask her if she knew about this?" Derek wiped the tears from his face.**

"**Izzy said that Meredith started pulling away. They all tried to talk to her but she quit talking. I guess she had tried to tell Izzy about her problems one day at the hospital. But it was busy and Izzy wasn't paying any attention. It seems that everyone stopping paying attention. We all used to be so close." Mark knew that Izzy was upset for not helping her friend when she needed her.**

"**I should have paid attention. I am her husband." he grabbed the phone and called Christina. **

**Christina picked up her cell phone as soon as it started ringing.**

"**Hey have you heard from her?" she asked.**

"**No have you?" Derek asked.**

"**No I thought she would call me. I'm her person. Though lately I have been a terrible friend. Where do you think she could have gone? Do you think she went far?" she asked.**

"**I don't know. I don't know where she could go." he said.**

"**Alex and I are coming over. We are waiting for Izzy to finish her surgery. Call me if you hear from her. I'll call you if she calls me." Christina said as she hung up the phone.**

**She looked at Alex "I know where she is going. Call George see if she is there." Christina yelled at Alex.**

**Alex didn't hesitate he picked up the phone and dialed George's number.**

**George and Lexie were about to head to bed when the phone started to ring. "George will you get that? I'm tired if it's Meredith tell her I'll call tomorrow." Lexie walked to the bedroom.**

"**Hello" George said when he picked up the phone.**

"**Hey it's Alex. Have you guys heard from Meredith?" Alex asked.**

"**Yesterday she called to see how Lexie was feeling. Why?" he asked.**

"**She left Derek. Didn't tell him where she was going." Alex explained.**

"**What do you mean she just left him. She didn't tell him where she was going?" he yelled.**

"**No just that she needed space." Alex looked at Christina and shook his head to let her know that George didn't know anything.**

"**If you hear from her call me okay?" George told Alex before the call ended.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Meredith lay in her hotel room that night. She couldn't stop the tears from falling. Her heart was breaking and there was nothing that she could do. She couldn't go back not yet. She had to figure out what she wanted. She had to figure out what her future held. She closed her eyes and was about to fall asleep when her cell phone began ringing. She looked and saw that it was Derek. She didn't want to talk to him not yet. But knew that he wouldn't sleep until he was able to talk to her.**

**She picked up the phone and pushed the talk button. **

"**Hello" she whispered.**

"**Meredith I love you. I'm so sorry please come home." Derek cried.**

"**I'm sorry Derek. I can't come home not yet. Please just give me some time. Get some rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow." she cried into the phone.**

"**How can I sleep. I need you next to me Meredith. Don't you realize how much I love you? You still love me don't you?" he asked.**

"**It's hard to be away from you Derek but at the same time I haven't had you for the last year. You go to work everyday and come home every night without saying a word to me. You may not think that you stopped showing me love but you did. That hurts worse than being away from you. I have slept next to you for the last six month and cried myself to sleep and you haven't even noticed. So no Derek I don't realize that you still love me. Not when you have ignored me for so long. I do still love you that is why I had to leave. I need to know if you still love me." she hung up the phone.**

_He called her up he said I have been such a fool_

**Derek hung up the phone and threw it across the floor. He walked upstairs and climbed into their bed. He didn't know she cried herself to sleep every night. How could he have been so blind to his wife. He snuggled closer to her pillow. He would find his wife and bring her back home.**

**

* * *

**

**Christina and Alex walked into the bar and sat down next to Mark and Izzy. "Hey I feel so bad." Izzy told Christina.**

"**I know she has tried so many times to talk to me. I haven't listened to her." Christina felt terrible.**

"**I can't believe that she actually left him. We all know that Meredith loves Derek. I mean it doesn't make any since." Alex said.**

"**We all noticed the strain on their marriage. Meredith hasn't acted like herself for months. We were all to busy to stop and talk to her. Maybe she shouldn't have quit working. She loved being a surgeon it was her life." Mark hated the thought of his friends marriage in trouble.**

"**It kind of makes you stop and think. If they can't make their marriage last who can." Alex spoke the words everyone had been thinking.**

"**Alex you make it sound like it's over for them. She'll come back I know Meredith she'll come back." Izzy wanted to believe that Meredith would come back but she was doubting her own words.**

"**I don't know Izzy. I mean she's hurt and feeling like no one has time for her. She doesn't even think that we care anymore. Why would she come back?" Christina asked.**

"**We have to help them. There has to be something that we can do." Izzy had tried calling Meredith but it went straight to voice mail.**

"**What can we do? We don't know where she's at. It's not like she's going to call us." Alex took a shot of tequila.**

**Mark looked at Izzy "We should get home. Maybe she has tried calling the house. Plus there's not much we can do tonight. We have to take the kids to school tomorrow for Derek." Mark stood up and helped Izzy onto her feet.**

"**Christina call me if you hear from her okay?" Izzy turned and walked out with Mark.**

"**Are you ready to go Alex. I need some sleep. If I am going to find her I need sleep." Christina said.**

**Alex shook his head and walked outside with his wife.**


	4. Chapter 4

**George and Lexie woke the next morning to a pounding on the door.**

"**I'll get it" George climbed out of bed.**

**He walked into the living room and opened the door. He was stunned to see Meredith standing at his door.**

"**Meredith what are you doing here?" he asked pulling her into the house.**

"**I came to see my sister and her husband." she wrapped her arms around George. "I missed you" she cried.**

**George squeezed Meredith and swung her around in a circle. "I've missed you too. Everyone has been calling. They thought you might have come down here. When did you get here?" he asked putting her back down on the ground.**

"**I got here last night. Who has called? Please you can not tell anyone where I'm at. I need time George please keep this a secret for now." she begged.**

"**I will keep my mouth shut for now. Meredith you have to realize that Derek loves you. You can't just give up on your marriage." he said.**

"**I know I don't want to give up. I need time to figure it out though. Where is my sister?" she asked looking around the house.**

**Lexie wobbled out of the bedroom "I'm right here it's not like you can miss this" she said pointing at her pregnant body.**

**Meredith giggled and walked over to Lexie "I've missed you" she said hugging her.**

"**I missed you to. I wish you were here on better circumstances. So you decided to take my suggestion? Give him a chance to live without you for awhile?" Lexie asked.**

"**Yeah you're the only one who would listen to me." Meredith admitted.**

"**Wait you told her to leave him?" George couldn't believe Lexie would give her sister such bad advice.**

"**Yes I told her to leave. Derek stopped noticing her. It was tearing her up inside. I told her to get away from it all. It would give Derek a chance to see how she was feeling." Lexie didn't like her husbands tone of voice.**

"**Goodness Lexie nice advice. You help tear a family apart yet you still have a smile on your face." George was upset.**

"**Calm George she didn't make me leave Derek. She just helped me realize that I had to something to make him notice me. Now lets talk about that baby." Meredith didn't want George mad at Lexie. It wasn't Lexie's fault that she left. **

**Meredith and George walked along the beach. Meredith hated the fact that she was so far away from her children. Most people would think that she was being selfish for leaving her children and her husband. If they only knew how hard it was to leave. If they only knew how hard she had fought to stay. She couldn't stay in a home where she was invisible. When her family only talked to her when they needed a shirt found or help with their homework. A home where the husband stopped looking at her with love and affection. She wiped the tears that fell from her eyes.**

**George noticed the tears falling from Meredith's face. He stopped walking and pulled her into his arms. George held her while she cried. He didn't say a word just listened to her cry. He knew what he had to do. "Why don't we go back to the house. You could go and get some sleep." **

"**Okay" she said as she walked with George back to his house.**

**George waited until Meredith went to bed. He walked into the kitchen and picked up his phone. **

"**Hello" Derek answered.**

"**Hey Derek it's George." George whispered.**

"**Why are you whispering?" Derek asked.**

"**Listen Meredith is here. She came over this morning. She's a mess I thought you might want to know." George tried to talk quietly. He didn't want Lexie to know what he had planned.**

"**I'm on my way. George don't tell her I'm coming okay." Derek snatched up his keys. He hung up the phone and called the airport. He would bring his wife home. He would make her happy once again. This time he wouldn't mess up with her.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: read and review**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy**

**Meredith woke up from her nap and walked downstairs. "Where's George?" she asked looking around.**

"**He had to run some errands. I'm sorry that you have to go through this Meredith. Remember you are not alone. I am here for you if you need to talk." she pulled out the chair for Meredith to sit down.**

**Meredith sat down at the table. She ran her fingers through her hair. "I live in Derek's shadow. It's not his fault it's mine. I quite doing surgeries so I could spend more time with my family. I didn't want to be like my mom. Yet here I am just like her. I ran away from my family. I miss the O.R you know. I like the clinic but it's not the same. When I first stopped doing surgeries I would wait until Derek came home and would drill him about every surgery that he performed. Eventually I stopped wanting to hear about it. I guess I became jealous of him. I could have went back at any time you know. I didn't instead I resented him." Meredith laid her head down on the table.**

"**You're a surgeon Meredith. You shouldn't have to give that up." Lexie squeezed her sister's hand.**

"**Yeah your right. I am going to go out for awhile. Do you need anything?" Meredith asked.**

"**No I'm fine. Be careful okay." she stood up and hugged her sister. **

"**Always, I'll call you later." she said as she walked out of the house.**

**George drove up to the airport. He was picking up Derek. He didn't like going behind Meredith's back and calling Derek but he knew it was for the best. He pulled up beside the curb and allowed Derek to get in. **

"**So are you ready?" George asked as they drove away.**

"**I don't know what to say to her." Derek admitted. On the plane he tried to plan the perfect words to say to her. The words that would bring her back home to him. "What am I supposed to say. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone. She's my best friend. When I hear a joke I always want to rush home and tell her. I thought that she knew how much I loved her. Why wouldn't she." he sighed.**

"**She is really hurting Derek. I have never seen her so needy before. Meredith is not a needy person. Are you sure nothing else is going on?" George asked.**

"**Not that I know of. She used to accuse me of smothering her. I just don't understand. I will do whatever I have to do. I will not lose her." Derek would fight what ever obstacle Meredith threw at him. They were meant to be together love like theirs doesn't come around that often. It was worth holding onto. **

**George and Derek walked into the house. **

"**Lexie where are you at?" George yelled.**

**Lexie walked out of the kitchen and stood staring at her husband "You did this. You called him?" Lexie yelled.**

"**Listen Lexie I did this for Meredith. You didn't see her at the beach this morning. She wanted him hear." George yelled back at her.**

"**I think your wrong George. You didn't see her break down at the kitchen table. She was a complete mess. She left and I don't know where she was going." Lexie sighed and sat down on the chair. Her sister was exhausting.**

"**I'll call her cell phone." Derek said walking over to the phone.**

**Meredith sat at the bar. She hadn't had a drink of tequila since her kids were born. She had given everything up to be a mother. She held the drink in her hand but couldn't get it in her mouth. She shouldn't be here she should have went back to Lexie's house. She didn't want to be around anyone she needed to be alone.**

"**Go ahead and drink that. It doesn't taste as bad as it smells." the man said as he sat down next to her.**

**Meredith didn't want company but didn't want to be rude so she simply smiled.**

"**What is a fine woman like you doing here alone?" he asked as he waved at the bar tender.**

"**I wanted a drink" Meredith said swallowing the shot. **

"**Want another shot?" he asked.**

"**Yes but I can get my own." she made sure he could see her ring.**

"**Oh so your married. Are you happy?" he asked.**

**Meredith stared at the wall. She wasn't happy but she loved Derek. She would never fool around with anyone else. "Yes I am very happy." she yelled for the bartender to bring her another shot.**

"**If you are so happy why are you here? Doing shot's of tequila." he asked.**

"**It's my night out. Everyone deserves a night out." she said.**

**Meredith picked up the glass and drowned the shot. Her cell phone started to ring. She looked down and saw that it was Lexie's number and hit ignore. She wasn't in the mood to talk to her. She couldn't believe that Derek hadn't called her. Maybe he was happy that she was gone. This may be the break that he had been waiting for.**

"**What's your name?" the guy asked.**

"**Meredith" she said.**

"**It's nice to meet you Meredith. My name is Keith" he said.**

"**Listen Keith I came here to be alone. I'm sorry but I just need to be alone." she said as the bartender poured her another shot.**

"**No one likes to be alone. Even if you think that you need it." he said.**

**Meredith thought back to another bar scene. She had fallen in love with the last guy she had met at the bar. The sad fact was that she was still in love with him. **

"**I'm sorry but I really want to be alone." Meredith said as she picked up her drink and moved to the other side of the bar. She sat down and stared into her glass.**

**Derek walked into the living room. "She's not answering her phone." he said sitting down on the couch. "I hope she's okay." **

**George looked over at Lexie "She didn't say where she was going?" he asked her.**

"**No she just wanted to get away. I should have went with her. She was pretty upset when she left." Lexie felt terrible for letting her leave.**

"**It doesn't make since to sit here. I am going to go and look for her. She's out there and she's upset. I know that she needs me. She needs to know that I love her." Derek said as he stood up to leave.**

"**I'll go with you." George stood up. He walked over to Lexie "Call me if you hear from her." he said as he leaned down and kissed his wife.**

"**Call me as soon as you find her." Lexie walked over to the door.**

"**I will" he said.**

"**Remember that's my sister" she was worried about Meredith.**

**The tequila was causing Meredith to forget. She couldn't remember the last time that she was able to forget the pain her heart was feeling. She smiled for no reason. She didn't want to be happy not when Derek was far away. She would love to go home and sleep next to him. The thought of sleeping alone made her want to cry. She didn't want to be alone anymore. She wanted her husband to wrap his arms around her. To carry her up the stairs and lay her down in their bed. That wouldn't be happening tonight he was to far away. He wouldn't be able to comfort her tonight. She stood up and sat right back down. The alcohol was starting to take it's toll. She closed her eyes to stop the room from spinning. She started laughing she had no one to help her up to her room.**

**Keith noticed that Meredith was about to fall over. He walked over to her. "Would you like some help?" he asked.**

**Meredith looked up and couldn't believe that Derek was here.**

"**What are you doing here?" she asked.**

"**What are you talking about?" Keith asked.**

"**You came all this way for me? You do love me." Meredith couldn't stop the room from spinning.**

"**I think that you have had way to much to drink." Keith couldn't understand what she was saying. That didn't bother him he wanted to take her upstairs to his room.**

"**Derek I've missed you." Meredith stood up and was about to fall when Keith grabbed her.**

"**I've missed you too. I have a room would you like to go upstairs?" he asked.**

"**I have a room too. I would rather go with you though." Meredith smiled. She let Derek walk her out of the bar.**

**Derek and George walked into the hotel. They had found out that Meredith had a room here. They were about to head up on the elevator when they saw her leaving the bar with a man. It didn't take Derek long to run over to her.**

"**Get your hands off of my wife." Derek yelled at Keith.**

**Meredith looked at both men "two Derek's how did that happen. Which one of you are the real one though?" she slurred her speech.**

**Derek took a hold of his wife "Meredith I think you have had to much to drink" he said.**

**Keith was about to walk away. He didn't want her husband jumping to any conclusions.**

**Derek looked at George "Hold on to her for a minute" he said as he walked away.**

"**Hey stop" Derek yelled.**

**Keith turned around. "What I was just helping her up to her room." **

"**Sure I bet that was all you were doing. Didn't you notice that she was calling you Derek? You were going to take advantage of her." Derek yelled he swung his arm back and connected his fist to Keith's jaw.**

"**Stay away from her" he yelled as he walked back to Meredith.**

**Derek walked over to George and Meredith. "Let's take her back to your house. I don't like the thought of her in this hotel." he said as he took a hold of Meredith hand.**

**Meredith looked at Derek "I'm so glad that you're here. I thought you wouldn't come for me." she said as she tried to keep her balance.**

**George called Lexie and told her to have a bed made up for Meredith.**

"**I'll get the car wait here." George told Derek.**

**Derek stood there with Meredith "I'm sorry I could have swore that guy was you. I wouldn't have let him help me if not." she admitted.**

"**It's okay. I'm just glad that I got here in time. How much did you have to drink?" he asked her. **

"**I don't know. My head is spinning." Meredith said trying to talk without slurring her words.**

**George pulled the car up to the curb. **

**Derek opened the back door and helped Meredith inside. **

**She looked at "Will you sit with me?" she asked.**

"**Yes" he said as he got in next to her.**

**Meredith laid her head on his shoulder. She felt safe for the first time in days.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy**

**George pulled into his driveway. He knew that Meredith was sleeping when she started to snore. He looked back at Derek "Are you going to wake her up?" he asked.**

"**No I'll carry her in. She's had a long day. She can sleep it off and we can talk in the morning. I know one thing I love her more than ever." he said looking down at the woman who held his heart. There were so many things they had to talk about. Tonight he would let her sleep and tomorrow he would let his wife know how much he loved her. He would shout from the roof top if it would prove himself to her. He got out of the car and carefully picked her up into his arms.**

**Lexie opened the door when she heard the car pull in.**

"**What happened?" Lexie asked when she saw Derek carrying Meredith.**

"**She had a lot to drink" Derek said as he walked by.**

"**The bed is ready upstairs" she told Derek.**

**Derek walked upstairs to the spare bedroom. He opened the door and laid Meredith down on the bed.**

**Meredith jumped when she felt Derek's hands leave her. She looked up "Your not leaving me are you?" she didn't want him to leave.**

"**You need some rest" Derek didn't want to take advantage of her in her present state of mind.**

"**Please lay with me. I need you tonight." she begged.**

"**I need you too. Not tonight get some rest we can talk in the morning." he covered her up.**

**She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. She didn't want to be alone but didn't want to beg. "Whatever Derek" she said as she rolled over to face the wall. She didn't want him to see the tears falling down her face. It was like a faucet.**

"**I love you Meredith" he said as he walked out of the room.**

"**Sure you do" she whispered.**

**Derek woke up on the couch. He ran upstairs to check on Meredith it was the middle of the night. He needed to make sure that she was alright. He walked in and sat down on the bed. She looked so peacefully lying there.**

_**Garth Brooks**_

_**If Tomorrow Never Comes**_

_Sometimes late at night I lie awake and watch her sleeping_

_She's lost in peaceful dreams_

_So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark_

_And the thought crosses my mind_

_If I never wake in the morning_

_Would she ever doubt the way that I feel_

_About her in my heart_

**Derek brushed the hair back from her face. He loved her so much. He couldn't believe that she would ever doubt his love. **

_If tomorrow never comes_

_Will she know how much I loved her_

_Did I try in every way to show her everyday_

_That she's my only one_

_And if my time on earth were through_

_And she must face this world without me_

_Is the love I gave her in the past going to _

_Be enough to last if tomorrow never comes._

**Derek placed a kiss on her cheek. "I love you Meredith. The love I feel for you grows everyday. I could never stop loving you. I wish that I had told you everyday. I should have told you everyday. I will make sure that you know that I love you." he placed another kiss on her cheek. Tomorrow they would talk he would let her sleep tonight. He walked back downstairs to the couch. He needed to get some sleep.**

**

* * *

**

**Mark and Izzie sat in the kitchen. "Have you heard from Derek?" Izzie asked. **

"**No I think I will give him a call. Why don't you go get the kids up." he said as he walked over to the phone.**

**Izzy walked upstairs to get the kids up. She walked into the spare bedroom and found Josh and Stacey sitting up talking. "What's going on?" she asked them.**

"**Izzy what's going on with mom and dad?" Josh asked.**

"**Nothing they went to see George and Lexie" Izzy didn't want to lie to them. She just didn't know what to say.**

"**Don't lie to us Izzy. Dad wouldn't tell us the truth. We are old enough to know the truth. Please Izzy" Stacey begged.**

"**Fine your right I was lying. Your mom and dad hit a rough spot in their marriage. Everything is going to be okay though. They love each other they just need sometime to figure everything out." she wasn't lying she truly believed everything would be okay.**

"**There not going to get a divorce?" Josh asked.**

"**No they are not getting a divorce. Your mom feels like no one appreciates her anymore. Maybe you guys could start telling her how much she is needed." she said.**

"**We do appreciate her. She does everything for us. She hasn't been happy for a long time. She's a surgeon she needs to do what makes her happy. Being a surgeon again would make her happy." Josh knew his mom would love to go back.**

"**You guys are pretty smart. I think that it's time that she returned to her job." Izzie couldn't believe she hadn't thought of this herself.**

**Izzie walked downstairs. "Mark" she yelled.**

"**In the kitchen" he answered.**

"**Did you talk to Derek?" she asked.**

"**Yes I guess he hasn't had a chance to talk to Meredith yet. They brought her home from the bar last night. She was pretty wasted." Mark laughed he hadn't seen Meredith with a drink in her hand for a long time.**

"**They have smart children. They think that their mom should go back to work." she said as she poured herself a cup of coffee.**

"**She does work." he was confused.**

"**No they think she should be doing surgeries. They think that it would make their mom happy." she sat next to him.**

**Mark smiled the kids were right it would make Meredith happy.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy**

**Meredith walked downstairs. Her head was pounding and she couldn't remember how she got here. The last thing that she could remember was moving to the other side of the bar. She shouldn't have been drinking she knew better. She walked into the kitchen she needed some coffee. **

**Derek walked in the kitchen and found Meredith standing at the counter with her back to him. He walked over and swirled her around. He didn't give her a chance to pull away. He wrapped his arms around her. "I have missed you so much. I love you Meredith how could you think otherwise?" he kissed her.**

**Meredith couldn't believe that Derek was here. She felt warm in his arms. "What are you doing here?" she asked pushing him away.**

"**I came to get my wife. How's your head?" he didn't want to stop looking at her. She was beautiful. "Meredith I am in love with you. You are the only woman who can make my heart stop and skip a beat. I am sorry that I have made you feel like I stopped loving you." he wiped the tear that fell from her eyes.**

"**I don't know Derek. Our life has become such a routine. At some point you stopped talking to me. At some point I stopped listening. I want to be a great mother but I think that I need to be in the operating room again. I miss it and I miss standing next to you while you perform life saving surgeries. We use to be a team and I miss that." she walked over and sat down at the table.**

"**We are a team Meredith. That is what a marriage is. I want you beside me in the O.R. I am sorry I just thought that you enjoyed staying home." he sat down next to her.**

"**I love you. I hate that it took me leaving for you to notice me. That's what hurts the most. I tried so many times to tell you. Goodness Derek I cried myself to sleep almost every night." she cried.**

**George ran into the kitchen "Lexie is in labor" he yelled.**

**Meredith jumped up off the chair "We have to get her to the hospital. George go call the hospital let them know that she's on the way." Meredith said.**

**Derek stood up and reached for Meredith's arm. "Are we going to be okay?" he knew it wasn't the time to ask.**

"**I don't know. I better help Lexie." she said walking out of the kitchen.**

**Derek ran his hand over his face. He followed Meredith out of the kitchen. **

**Lexie sat on the couch attempting to put her shoes on.**

**Meredith walked over to her "Let me help." she sat down and tied her shoes.**

"**I'll get the car ready." Derek said walking towards the door.**

**Meredith watched Derek walk out of the house.**

"**Did you guys make up?" Lexie asked.**

"**Don't worry about us right now. Your going to have a baby." Meredith helped Lexie off of the couch.**

**George ran into the living room "Let's go" he said rushing the two out of the house.**

**Meredith and Derek stood outside of hospital room. Meredith was nervous for Lexie. She could tell that her sister was nervous. **

_**Snow Patrol Chasing Cars**_

_We do it all_

_Everything_

_On our own._

_We don't need_

_Anything or anyone_

**Derek watched Meredith pace around the hallway. There was still so much that they had to say to one another. He hated standing next to her and not being able to hold her. He was afraid of losing her. **

_If I lay here _

_If I just lay here_

_Would you lie with me_

_And just forget the world_

"**Mer would you like to get something to eat?" he asked.**

**Meredith looked at Derek. She could see the pain in his eyes. She wanted to run into his arms and take his pain away. **

"**I'm fine" she said.**

_I don't quite know_

_How to say_

_How I feel_

_Those three words_

_Are said to much_

_And not enough_

**Derek knew she wasn't fine. She was feeling the same pain that he was feeling. He needed her in his arms. "It might take a little while to get her situated. We could go and finish our conversation. I want to fix "us". I want to hold you in my arms." he walked closer to her.**

_I don't quite know_

_How to say_

_How I feel_

_Those three words_

_Are said to much_

_And not enough_

**Meredith didn't have the strength to talk right now. She was actually relieved that Lexie went into labor. It would give them both time to figure out what they wanted. She wanted to be with Derek but she was afraid. "I better stay close. We can talk later okay."**

_If I lay here_

_If I just lay here_

_Would you lie with me_

_And just forget the world_

_Forget what were told_

_Before we get to old_

_Show me your garden_

_That's bursting into life_

**Derek wanted to scream that it wasn't okay. That there marriage should be top priority. "I understand" he lied. Why didn't she want to finish there talk. **

**George walked out of Lexie's room. "Meredith she wants you in there." he said holding the door open for her.**

**Meredith walked towards Lexie's room. She turned back and looked at Derek "I'm sorry" she whispered as she walked into the room.**

**Derek shook his head and started walking away.**

**George ran after Derek "Hey stop" he yelled.**

**Derek stopped and turned around "I don't know why I came. She's not going to come back with me." he didn't want to admit the truth even though he knew he was losing her.**

"**Derek she loves you. I know she almost lost in on the beach the other day. Just give her time." George hated seeing his friends in this situation.**

"**That's the problem I gave her to much time. I knew something was wrong. I kept thinking if I gave her space she would be okay. Now I don't know what to do. I have told her so many times today that I love her and yet she's having a hard time believing me." he didn't like feeling like he was losing control.**

"**Tell her again. Make her listen to you." he said.**

"**Your talking about Meredith." he laughed.**

"**I know who I am talking about. I also know that she loves you." he said.**

"**I have to get out of here for awhile. I need some air." Derek turned and walked away.**

**A/N: R&R**

**I think that the next chapter may be the end of the story.**

**Let me know if you have any ideas. I hope everyone is enjoying the story**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's anatomy

"**How are you feeling?" Meredith asked Lexie as she walked up to her bed.**

"**I've been better. The contractions are getting closer. Where's Derek?" Lexie asked between breathes.**

"**He's outside the room." Meredith answered.**

"**Did you guys make up?" Lexie asked.**

"**You don't need to be worrying about that right now. Concentrate on that baby." Meredith knew Lexie she wouldn't stop asking.**

"**I will not stop worrying about you. You are my sister. I love you Meredith. You need to go and talk to Derek." Lexie wanted to see a smile on her sister's face again.**

"**I'll talk to him later. You are going to have a baby. I want to be with you." she squeezed her hand.**

"**You listen to me. I will not have this baby until you and Derek are back together. I will not push until you come back and tell me that everything is alright between the two of you." Lexie yelled.**

"**Your kidding right?" Meredith asked.**

"**Go talk to your husband. Don't come back until you guys are done talking." Lexie yelled pointing at the door.**

**Meredith knew that Lexie wouldn't stop yelling until she left. She shook her head at her and walked out of the room.**

**Meredith walked over to George "Your wife has problems. Where did Derek go?" she asked looking around.**

"**He needed some air. Go find him Meredith he needs you." George said.**

"**Okay I'll be back. Call me if she needs anything." Meredith gave him a quick hug and walked away.**

**Meredith walked outside. She figured he had walked outside after telling George that he needed air. She walked over to the park in front of the hospital. She spotted Derek right away sitting on the bench. She didn't know what to say to him. She didn't want to talk right now but she had to for Lexie.**

**Derek sat on the bench looking down at the ground. He was having a hard time breathing. This should be a happy occasion. His sister in law was having a baby. Instead his heart was breaking and his mind was a mess. He stood up to stretch his legs and spotted Meredith walking towards him.**

**Meredith walked toward Derek. "Breath Meredith." she whispered to herself. She walked up and stood next to him.**

**Derek looked at Meredith. He really looked at her and realized she still looked like the woman he fell in love with.**

**Meredith didn't know what to say. "Hey" she whispered.**

"**Hey" he whispered back at her. He didn't know what to do so he sat back down.**

**Meredith sat down next to him. She looked at the kids playing in the sandbox. "I miss having little one's running around." she said.**

**Derek stared at her. He knew she was fighting for the right words to say. "What are we going to do Meredith. I mean are you giving up on me?" he was having trouble breathing.**

**Meredith didn't know how to answer his question. She should have thought of the right words to say to him. "We both messed up Derek. I'm tired and I don't know if I have the strength to keep fighting for us." she admitted.**

**Derek didn't know what to say. The words she spoke felt like a stab to his heart. "You expect me to be perfect Meredith. I know that I made you feel like you weren't important to me. I know that you questioned my love. I am here now telling you that I love you that I need you. I don't know what else to do to prove myself." he was so angry with her.**

**Meredith couldn't stop the tears from falling from her eyes. She wiped her face. "I love you Derek." she cried.**

**Derek looked at her and saw the tears falling from her eyes. He stood up and pulled her off of the bench. He took her into his arms. "I came upstairs last night after you fell asleep. I couldn't leave the room I just sat there and watched you sleep. I kept thinking that I would rather listen to you sleep than to not see you at all. I love you and I will never stop. I will not give up on us. I will not let you give up on us." he pulled her close. **

**Meredith fell against him. She was home in his arms she couldn't deny it any longer. He was her soul mate. He was the love of her life. She felt over whelmed with sadness and finally broke down and cried like a baby.**

**Derek felt Meredith break. She started crying it was all it took for his heart to melt "Oh Meredith I love you. Please believe me I LOVE YOU." he whispered into her ear.**

**Meredith looked up into his eyes. For the first time in a long time she could see the love he had for her in his eyes. She breathed it all in.**

**He watched her waiting for her to realize that he loved her. "I am nothing without you Meredith Grey Shepherd." he ran his fingers through her hair.**

_Lets waste time_

_Chasing Cars_

_Around our heads_

_I need your Grace_

_To remind me_

_To find my own_

_If I lay here_

_If I just lay here_

_Would you lie with me_

_And just forget the world_

_Forget what were told_

_Before we get to old_

_Show me your garden that's_

_Bursting into life_

_All that I am_

_All that I ever was_

_Is here in your perfect Eyes_

_There all I can see._

_I don't know where_

_Confused about how as well_

_Just know that these things_

_Will never change _

_For us at all_

_If I lay here_

_If I just lay here_

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

"**I love you Derek. I could never imagine my life without you either. My heart broke when I left you. Please forgive me I am so sorry. I should have never packed up and left you and the kids." she cried.**

**Derek pulled her back into his arms. He didn't want to let go of her. He wanted to hold her forever. "I should have done something. I knew that something was going on with you. I thought that if I didn't say anything we would be okay. I was afraid if I talked to you that it would be over between us. I love you and I promise to never let you feel that way ever again." he said holding onto her. He wouldn't let her go this time.**

"**I want to stay until Lexie get's out of the hospital. After she goes home I want you to take me home." she was ready to go home. "I can do that. I love you." he said as he leaned in and kissed her.**

_A/N: Okay so I hope everyone enjoyed this story. I know that this was a short story but I really enjoyed writing this. I am thinking about writing a sequel. The sequel would go back in time and tell the story about how they got married and how everyone else got together. R/R tell me your ideas.._

_Thanks to everyone who read the story. _


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